for a change...fiction!

What follows is a little bit of many things, but if i were to reveal all of that, there would be no point in making this post. I hope atleast one out of the few readers (if at all any) could make sense out of what i wrote a while ago.


The Visit



I


A million years before human beings inhabited the earth, there was born, on a distant planet, a species that called themselves the Ooks. They called their home Ookagaryum, and this planet is known as Pluto, among the species that consider themselves the most intelligent creatures that walked on earth, if not the entire universe. The Ooks would beg to differ no doubt. The Ooks were so well advanced in their thought processes, that within half a million years of their inception, they evolved into a race that could communicate by a network more advanced than the internet that the humans designed for themselves --- a network of their mutual thoughts. They did not have to “talk” among themselves in the “traditional” way, they merely had to concentrate on focusing their thought processes to match that of other Ooks, and voila, the communication channel was open. There was never any chaos or noise like in human communication, and if there was a difference of opinion, the Ookageppo or the chief of Ooks got a thought signal to make him aware of it, and he would then cancel out the negative energy arising out of the difference in opinion of two Ooks. Indeed, such was the efficiency of their system and their lifestyle, that one would wonder why the Ooks decided to make a foray into human land. But they did make a trip to earth, and what a trip that was!

The Ookageppo had been skeptical about the trip, but when he felt so many thought signals from fellow Ooks indicating to the contrary, he gave in and agreed to send two Ooks to human land. He summoned the two Ooks that were closest to each other in terms of thought bonding, and instructed them on the specifics of the travel. Of course, all this happened, not in a conference room as in the case of humans, but in the respective shells (equivalent of human homes) of the three Ooks. Such was the beauty of the system that the two chosen Ooks simply had to roll out of their individual shells and onto the rocks that would carry them to human land. There was no elaborate preparation required, no rockets, no space ships, and no expensive fuel. A meteoric shower was scheduled to happen at that time, and the Ooks vehicle would be a part of the shower. The Ooks can survive in any composition of the atmosphere, and they can also manage in a total lack of it, for a few Ook days. So they did not need any heavy gas tanks either.

As they clung on to the rock, both the Ooks felt a mixture of excitement and anxiety. Humans would recognize the emotions as excitement and anxiety, but the Ooks who do not know what emotions are, had no means of understanding why their mutual thought waves reached a crescendo at times, and at times sunk to abysmal depths. Though they wondered about it, they did not give it too much extra thought because they were traveling through vacuum and they would need to conserve all the energy they had, if they were to survive.

Three Ook days after they started their journey, the two Ooks found their vehicle plummeting into the earth’s atmosphere.

When the Ooks finally landed in human land or the earth, they had reached a state of thought fatigue. All the highs and lows of their cumulative thought processes had taken its toll, and for a while, there was absolute thought-silence, the state where Ooks pass into slumber. Humans have tried to achieve this state of mind for a very long time, and they have tried using scientific as well as traditional methods like meditation et al. But whereas they never found success, for the Ooks, a state of absolute mental slumber is a way of life. They do it every day and they would perish without it. Thus it was, that our Ook friends retreated into this state of slumber, to rest after their arduous journey to human land, not just because of the huge distance, but also because of the sheer amount of thoughts that they had communicated with each other.


When the elder Ook woke up, he looked around with his tiny eyes. He could see a vast stretch of emptiness, and for a while, he wondered if the thought direction that the Ookageppo had used to propel the rock, had been miscalculated. Presently however, he heard a sound that confused him and set him thinking about the possible source of the sound. The younger Ook was awakened when he sensed that the elder Ook had risen, and was in deep thought. He joined the elder, and together they looked around them. All around them was a colour they had never seen in the Ookagaryum, and it looked very refreshing. They agreed that it had to be the best hue that could adorn any place, and they found the same colour adorning more of the soft, flattened things on tops of column like structures. What are these? How do they grow on the ground as well as on poles? The similarity of their thinking at the same time, caused a positive energy source that gave them an instant answer. They “knew” instantly, that these were grass on the ground and leaves on the trees, and that the grass and trees were all basically the same, just like they were both Ooks. Having learnt that, they were more at ease, and they both agreed that these plants would be very good ornaments for their Ookagaryum. The next bout of positive energy wave taught them about animals and brought them in close vicinity of a human. Both Ooks were extremely happy, though they did not realize it ofcourse…they experienced a heightened mutual thought processing, leading to another positive energy beam and this time, the beam caused a strange tingling in their bodies and they did not know what it was at first, but the beam taught them that since they were in human land, they had started experiencing human emotions too, albeit in a very subdued fashion. The ooks joy knew no bounds. Ookageppo had told them that all emotions were bad and to be shirked, but if this is what it felt like to be happy, the Ooks could not wait to experience more. They came out of their hiding place behind their vehicle from Ookagaryum, and rolled along the grass. The grass was soft and they enjoyed the warmth of the sun rays on their small bodies, as they rolled along merrily on the grass. It was surprising how well they enjoyed these human emotions and they both thought it was an injustice on the part of the Ookageppo to have restrained the ooks from making a trip to human land before. The next positive energy wave lifted them from the grass and hurled them through the air, and they felt exactly as if they were passing through space. For a while they thought that the chief would have summoned them back using a backward bound thought direction, but they were relieved to find that that was not the case, when the waning energy wave deposited them on a soft surface that they enjoyed very much. They soon learnt that it was a couch in the living room of a medical practitioner. Ookageppo’s thoughts synched with theirs at that precise moment, and it was instructing them to leech onto some human minds to find out more about the planet. They had to do more than just think the same thoughts at the same time, if they were to learn about this beautiful planet, and both Ooks realized the wisdom of their chief’s thoughts. The elder Ook leeched onto the doctor’s mind as soon as he had created a channel into it, and at that precise instant, the good doctor felt a jab of pain in his temple that he attributed to the screaming child in his waiting room.
“Nurse, ask the good lady with the crying child to come in now. I want that child to leave here as soon as possible.”
The nurse did not miss the sarcasm in her boss’s tone and gave an understanding nod, before summoning the mother and her sick child. The doctor took the child’s temperature and gave him a shot to take care of the fever. In the meantime, the elder Ook winced as the doctor started getting impatient with the mother and child duo, and started uttering profanities against them in his mind. This was the ook’s first experience with a negative human emotion, and the elder did not like it. But the damage had been done, though he did not realize it at that time. The next time he saw the younger however, and they were baffled by a sight that they did not quite understand, he felt irritated with the younger at not having synched his thoughts with the elder.
“That’s a sheer wastage of useful thought energy, you little idiot, “thought the elder.
“Oh really, what do you know, you old fool? Isn’t it much easier to leech onto a human’s mind and see what they see and hear what they hear and thus learn, instead of going through this rigmarole of thinking alike and at the same time? I am tired of that anyway. It takes a lot of energy to do that, and a lot of concentration too, and I don’t think it’s worth it.”
Ookageppo felt a definite ebb in the energy levels he had been receiving steadily from the earth bound Ooks, and he felt troubled. Though he did not realize that he was worried, he experienced an overall ebb in his communicating faculty, and he was being forced to enter the state of slumber more often than he usually did. He started thinking that it had been a wrong decision to send the elder and younger ooks to human land, and he wanted to get them back. Ofcourse, the other ooks were against such a thought, and the result was a disastrous ebb of energy in the ookagaryum. All the Ooks’ shells lost their lighting, and they were forced to take shelter in the ookageppo’s council chamber. The gathering of a hundred ooks in the council chamber was more than the already tired ookageppo could handle and he retreated once again, to a state of slumber.
While things were going awry in ookagaryum, the ooks on earth were having a happy time, and they had strayed from their original mission. They had no interest in finding out about humans for the sake of knowledge and understanding, but they did want to know more about how humans managed to look beautiful, whereas they ooks resembled the tennis balls that humans played with. They also wondered about how humans managed to lead independent lives, outside the control of chiefs and kings. Upon further leeching they discovered that the humans had shirked the evils of such control and managed to become free and lead meaningful and happy lives. The elder and younger wanted nothing more than to explore a way out of their chief’s control, and after many days, their synchronized thoughts produced another powerful burst of positive energy. They found themselves hurled into the air, but this time they did not think that they were being summoned back to ookagaryum. They decided to snatch a few moments of slumber. When they opened their eyes, it was dark outside. “Nightfall”, they thought. The ensuing blast of positive energy produced light around them instantly, and they knew at once that they were in ookagaryum. Both felt terribly sad, and furious at their ookageppo. How dare he control their lives? Just when they thought they had the mantra to be free from his control, he had summoned them back and showed them that he was king. However, they would not take it any longer. They had to show him that they knew he was being a tyrant. They rolled toward the council head purposefully. Instead of the ookageppo however, they found a group of Ooks scattered around the throne. “Thank god you are back, and you brought back the light”.
“That’s fine, but where’s the sly old Ookageppo?”
“He has lost his mind. He is no longer capable of opening his eyes. He is in a state of perpetual slumber.”
“Oh, he is dead”, thought the erstwhile visitors to the earth.
“So who becomes chief now?”
“There is no need of a chief. Let us have an election”, that was what the elder and younger Ooks thought. They went on to explain the process and the other Ooks felt it was a great idea too.


II

It has been two years since the Ooks made that fateful trip to earth. They had their elections and they elected a leader. But the leader was never really in power, and all his thoughts were trounced by the other ooks. There were three factions and that is a huge number, considering that there are only ninety nine ooks in Ookagaryum. With the factions came lots of thought clashes, and each thought clash brought with it a fresh burst of negative energy. The ooks seemed oblivious to their depreciating resources, hooked up as they were, in trying to control their lives themselves and be free of tyranny. They all had feelings now, and each bad feeling brought with it a fresh wave of destruction of resources. By the end of a year, half of the older Ook population had entered a state of perpetual slumber, and there were no new ooks, because the existing ooks could not agree among themselves upon the number of new Ooks they wanted.
Two years after they returned from earth, the elder and the younger Ooks were the only surviving Ooks.
“What went wrong? Where did we fail?” there appeared a faint light in the horizon.
“Perhaps we should not have suggested the elections” the light became brighter.
“Why do the humans seem happy with that scheme then?”
“Have you seen their numbers? Besides, they are not annihilated like us.”
“Look, there is a lot more light now. Maybe everything is not lost.”
“Why don’t we have another Ook among us? Three is better company than two after all”
The strong burst of positive energy brought with it a new Ook. The two elder Ooks were happy now. They realized that all was not lost. They still had hope, so long as they protected their race from the human land.
“This is our new ookageppo”, the younger ook directed a thought at his new companion, introducing the elder ook to him.
“Hail the new ookageppo” they thought in unison. At this, the Ookagaryum was once again lit up like the olden days.
“May peace prevail in our land, and may we never want to venture to human land”, thought the two original Ooks. Their joy knew no bounds when they spotted the numerous shells around light up at their collected thought.

An upliftment to the blog

My blog has a picture atlast. Yay!!!
This was taken on a train ride (wonder if that's the right term) home, home being in Kerala. I was feeling tired, sleepy and a little tensed as well (on account of a loved one's sickness) and yet, I managed to bring the trace of a smile on my lips...how brave :) sigh...enough of gloating.
The long and short of what I have been trying to say is that I am making a sincere effort to make my blog slightly more presentable. I hope this is a step in the right direction. tell me if it is not...

quotes

A guy and a girl can be just friends but at one point or another one of them will fall for the other maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late or maybe just maybe forever!
don't know if that's true. just put it there because it struck me...

here's another one Wouldn’t life be perfect if sweatpants were sexy, Monday mornings were fun, junk food didn’t make you fat, girls didn’t cause drama, guys weren’t so confusing, nothing was regrettable, and goodbye's....They only meant until tomorrow

god created men first because you always make a rough draft before you make a masterpiece
this one's making me laugh (i don't believe it)

should i smile cause you're my friend, or cry cause that's all we'll ever be?
what can i say, except "hmmmmm..."

im not supposed to love you, im not supposed to care, im not supposed to live my life, wishing you were there, im not supposed to wonder where you are or what you do, im sorry i just cant help myself, i fell in love with you
another "hmmmmmm..."

there are some things that we can't change, no matter what, or how hard we try. these are the things that keep my faith strong...a faith that there is a god somewhere, who pulls the strings that control the unknown and unpredicatble stuff in our lives. so what do i do when such things come my way? if i want them out of my life, i pray to god to pull the strings that would throw these things out of my orbit. if i like them, i hope they'll stay on for a longer time.

i hate the things that i cannot change. they are a pain in the neck, a hinderance to the otherwise smooth flow that i identify as my life. i'm sure everybody's like that. there are a few such things right now...i hope they go away for good, and never gain access to my orbit. like they say in shawshank redemption, "hope is a very good thing; maybe the best thing. and a good thing never dies". here's to hope for better times.

yawnnnnnn

ever so slightly tired...and frustrated. when the body's not responding to your command, i guess that's bound to happen. i just hope i'm back to being "as fit as a fiddle" soon...or almost :-)

life's gotten into a predictable groove...yet again. how nice! sigh...i hate this predictability. did i ever tell you that i once wished for the third world war to happen soon? ok, let's chuck that. that was at a time when i was not the most sensible person around, so i guess that could be forgiven. i dont wish for the third world war now, but maybe, a flying dragon, or a reincarnated dinosaur would be nice!

A Wingless Dream

It comes back to me
Every now and then,
A wingless dream;
Startles me with its intensity,
Amazes me with its persistence,
Hurts me with its futility —
Each time it comes
And leaves in its wake
A sea of remorse,
I resolve
Not to put at stake
My happiness; not to take
A load of care
That will not wear;
Not when this dream
Has a glossy sheen
That will never go away.

The Fifty First Day

I

Brian looked at the party caps and the paper plates strewn around the room. The room looked totally messy and he did not envy his mother’s maturity and independence right then. She would have a tough time in the morning, no doubt. On second thoughts, he realized that she was always having a tough time these days. Dad’s illness had taken an immense toll on her and his otherwise cheerful mom had been reduced to a nervous wreck who dropped dishes and swore and got irritated. He wondered why things had changed. To his twelve year old mind, the sudden change from bright and colourful to black and grey was quite indigestible. Was dad getting worse? No, the doctor had assured him that dad could only get better…then what was the reason behind the changed scenario? He wanted a lot of answers, but he felt lost, because there was no one to help him.

His friends had told him that AIDS didn’t have a cure. And that all the sinners like dad, who took drugs and dealt with drugs, deserved to die. They said he would die anyway, because of all the drugs he had taken. Brian often wondered why his dad took drugs. Phil said that only people who are really unhappy take drugs, to forget their unhappiness. Why was his dad unhappy?

Brian lay back in his bed, but sleep eluded him. He got up stealthily, and made his way to the door across the corridor. He paused for the briefest of moments as he reflected on the umpteen times that he had ventured into the room that lay beyond, without the slightest of qualms; the games he had played with dad, the breakfasts they had in bed together. He felt a telltale tear making its way out of his eyes, and quickly wiped it off.
The door creaked when he pushed it open. He hoped that the sound would not wake his mother. He knew that dad would not be asleep anyway. He seldom slept these days.

“Claire, is that you?”
“Dad, it’s me…I was wondering if we could talk…for sometime…please?”
“Ofcourse Brian”. Brian thought he detected a faint hesitation in his dad’s voice. “What is it young man? Enjoyed the party so much that you can’t sleep, eh?”
“Dad, you know, I didn’t enjoy the party at all. Not when you are sick and unhappy, not when my friends say that you are unhappy and that you will die soon, not when mom looks sad all day long.”
“Brian, come here my boy. Are you scared?”
“Dad, are you scared? Are you scared that you will not be around for much longer? Phil was saying that you ought to be scared, especially since you brought this upon yourself.”
Andy felt his frail body shaking with sobs. He hugged his youngest son tightly, and held on to him as though that was the last thing he could do to grab a few more days of life.
“I am sorry kiddo; I did not mean it to be this way. I am unhappy now, but my unhappiness comes from the fact that I cannot take you to your football practice matches, and that I cannot attend the twins’ graduation from the college; and that I cannot make your mom smile and be happy. I feel unhappy because I robbed all of you of the comforts I should have given you.”
“Hmm, dad is there a way by which we can reverse all this. I mean, go back in time, and erase your addiction; maybe, we can erase your illness then.”
Andy sighed, and when he did, it sounded like a groan to Brian.
“Son, I think I must tell you this. The doctor says that I have not more than fifty days left. Fifty days is a long time, you know. I have enough time to tell you so many stories that you would never fall short of stories to tell your grandchildren; enough time to give so much love to your mommy, that she would not feel the pain when I am gone; enough time to call the twins home and congratulate them on their successes, that they may never regret not having their old man around to applaud them when they collect their degrees. But Brian, fifty days is not a long enough time for me to go back in time and put right the things that I messed up.”
“Fifty days? Really? Dad…what happens after that? I...I will not let this happen to you.”
“I wish I could do something about it Brian. There’s not a day that passes by, when I think about what I did to all of you, to myself. I know now that happiness comes from within you. No matter what your friends say, you cannot buy happiness with a needle or a puff of smoke…it’s an illusion.”
“Hmm…dad, the doctor said you could only get better.”
“Son, I am already better. I am a better man now, a better husband, and a better father. I realize the injustices I’ve done to all of you, and I think that makes me a better man.”
“Dad, I meant, you becoming better…you know, not having to…go away.”
“Brian, I wish I did not have to go away…not when I have become a better person. It would have been great to live with all of you while I am a better man than I used to be…” Andy’s voice trailed off. He was thinking of the doctor’s verdict.
Fifty days…what a miserably short time when you know it’s all you’ve got; when you know that you cannot escape from whatever it is that will come to ambush you on the fiftieth day. He felt the tears well up in his eyes again. He felt weak, terribly so, and he wanted to sleep, but he couldn’t. He felt Brian stir beside him in his sleep.

The next morning dawned as usual, with a façade of cheeriness and a sense of the mundane. Andy awoke from his slumber and looked around. Brian had gone. He had left a paper though. A paper filled with a childlike scrawl…
“Dad, I don’t believe the doctor when he says that you will be gone after fifty days. Who is he to say that? Can we look at an ant running around and say that it will be dead in ten minutes? I think you will live for more than fifty days. I shall look forward to the day after the fiftieth day. Hope to see you there, Brian.”

Andy did not know how to react to a child’s anger at a verdict that signaled the end of the road for his father. He knew that there was no point in hoping for a miracle, and that he had reached a place where there were no miracles, no hope for one. But then again, wasn’t he the one who had told Brian that fifty days is a long time? So if his battered body could drag itself to the fifty mark, could it not see through another day? Could he not be there to greet Brian on the fifty first day? Wasn’t it worth praying for, if that was the last thing he could do to snatch a few moments from the jaws of death?

Andy got out of his bed slowly, and knelt down to pray. He did not know how to pray, so he said aloud, to no one in particular, “If I have fifty days to live, I’m sure you can give me another measly day. Let me live for fifty one days.”


II

Six months after his twelfth birthday, on a fine March morning, Brian was playing with his friends. Presently he saw his mother come out of the house and wave at him. “Brian, come in here. Dad’s going to drive us down to the station. The twins are coming home for their spring break. You don’t want us to get late, do you?”
“Coming mom…” He ran as fast as he could. Brian had grown to realize the worth of every moment in his life and in the lives of those that he loved. His dad’s daily prayer to let him live for fifty one days, had brought them this far. He hoped it could see them through a few more springs.

selfish me

i have been thinking a lot lately, and when i do that, i always come up with some amount of philosophical shit. this post will have a lot of that, so you decide if you want to continue reading...(yeah i like to put disclaimers at the very begining; i think it makes no sense to put them at the end, after the harm's been done!).

on one of those days, when i was in my usual pensive state of mind, i came up with this beauty: "i have one life to live, so i shall not live it according to anybody's terms, but my own." i know that's nothing novel, and that many others would have said the same thing before me, but each person who discovers something for himself, experiences the this-is-so-true feeling about something, deserves all the credit that the very first person who came up with the idea got, so there!

am i being selfish when i say that? i say "no". i mean think of this...i am born, i grow up, i attend school, college, take up a job, marry someone...so far most of everything's been done according to a lot of other folks wishes; but heck, where's my life...it's-a-going-away, slipping by too damn fast, and before i realise it, i think i'll have cataract and a few dentures...you get the point, right?

so before that happens, i need to get a life of my own, which essentially means, do the things i've always dreamt of doing, be the person i've yearned to be, see the sights i have envisioned in my mind, go to places i have traversed in my mind...and no, this isn't selfishness. i'll indulge in some plagiarism and borrow walter scott's concept to dish out my idea

"breathes there a man with soul so dead,

who never has loved himself?"

here's to love of the self! (better late than never!)

Good little things

Good things need not come
In large packages with glossy wraps.
Sometimes you get them in a little box,
Wrapped in a sheet of paper,
Once a part of a drawing book and later
Got torn out to serve as the “gift paper”.
A lot of thought goes behind
These little boxes of a priceless kind
A long wait to get the right flavour at times,
Of the right toffee from a friend who just turned nine…
Or a careful plucking of a rose from the garden,
Hoping the grown ups won’t notice;
Days of waiting till it’s properly pressed and dried,
And just the right texture for what she has in mind.
And then the hunt for a little box
To put the goodies in, like Santa does with the socks
And once it’s done and wrapped
With her best work from the art class
She feels a sense of sheer delight
That she is just in time
To wish “dear mother mine”
A very happy birthday.

musings...

tumse naaraz nahi zindagi,
hairaan hoon main... that's dedicated to "someone ---" (--- who used to be special).

Every once in a while, you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You can't do that. It's gone, gone forever...that's for it's "how true" factor.

Forgive me now - tomorrow I may no longer feel guilty...that's there because that's how i normally feel :-P

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else...that's there as an ode to all the jerks who try to make light of any and every bad situation i find myself in.

A bank is a place where they lend you an umbrella in fair weather and ask for it back when it begins to rain ...that's there because it's the mother of all "how true" entries!

More later...

disclaimer: None of the quotes used in above blog, are a product of my imagination. they were all said/sung by someone at some point in history. I was just trying to co-relate these with some things in life.