definition statements :)

some things define a person like no other.

it could be the smile, or the crinkling of the eyes when she smiles, or the funny gait, or the wild gesticulation while speaking, or the pulling on the chin while mulling over something deeply.

essentially, it could be anything.

it could even be the way the person reacts to a situation, the way he manages to convince the people around him always... or something equally significant, or perhaps insignificantly mundane.

there are those however, who choose to be defined by stranger quirks; such as their blind hatred for certain people or certain communities, or their predisposition to violence and hatred and further justifying such actions with some or the other religious or communal beliefs, or their snobbishness, or their looking down upon everyone else in the world, or their religious adherence to some belief system without being open to any other possibility.

i pity the latter category.

i think it is infinitely better to scratch one's behind while in deep conversation and thereby make a definition statement about self, than resort to belittling others or shutting them off as imbeciles who account for nothing, or kill them in the name of god-alone-knows-what.

god bless us all :)

Life, as I see it

Some people waltz into your life,
And some come breezing in;
Tempestuous storms some others bring...
Occasionally a melancholy tune one ushers in,
Another, a lullaby;
A few come in silently,
A few others riding high...

Ere you wonder what brought them
Into your solitary 'stence
Some go rushing out and thence
You muse if it made sense
At all to have them there in the first place ....

And yet, if you would but pause,
And wonder a thoughtful while;
You would see them standing all in line
Gracing your sterile life,
And making it in a signficant way
A little more worthwile!

The Strife Within

Cold winds that blow in from an open window
Newspapers strewn across the floor
A coffee mug from a couple of days ago
Loud music rushing in from the neighbour's next door
She surveys the scene with detachment
Never once dwelling upon the chaos apparent
Turmoil of another kind brews up a storm maelvolent
As her heart seethes in agony of a kind that only she knows...

what do you do when nothing goes as per your plan? sit back and relax and watch...as simple as that!

and then there came the jealousy.

and resentment.

a lot of hurt.

some tears, often unseen.

bitterness.

longing.

a lot of fantasising.

dreaming of what-ifs...

i had never imagined it would come down to this someday.

and now that it has, where is my famous will power? the steely strength that the world marvels at, at times? dont they know, that the inability to show one's fear, one's hurt, one's agony, is a failing in itself? that one yearns to be able to shed the veil of sophistication and the stiff-upper-lip demeanour, if only to be rewarded with some reprieve from the burden that lies heavily upon one's shoulders? can absolutely no one see it?

have i been so bad, so absolutely bad? and if i have, were all those bad things i did, so utterly unpardonable? would goodness, even if a trifle, come in handy to pay the measure for the badness?

will i be able to laugh one day, with head thrown back, hands held wide apart, a deep heartfelt laugh, sans all sophistication, telling the world that my blues have gone? will that day dawn in this lifetime?

i had heard of mutual admiration societies, but increasingly find myself joining mutual non-admiration societies! that's my very own term for those "relationships" (or the lack thereof), between two people who dont like anything about each other, know that all too well, and have to share space for whatever weird reasons.

just when i was thinking that my life's all settled, and that at 29, i wouldnt have to go through that kind of rigmarole anymore, life took a sharp u-turn and i found myself in one such mutual non-admiration situation. it's so yuck, and i thank god that it's over and thankfully (and hopefully!) in my past...

3 days to the 5th anniversary, and i feel very much like a marriage veteran; and so i thought i could dispense some advice for the benefit or amusement or timepass of the unmarried folks (married ones would be busy i reckon ;) )...

beyond the romance and the sweet nothings, lies the reality of real life with your partner... for life! some points you must consider...

if you are an indian and are likely to live in tropical india, please be sure to marry someone who shares your choice for which state the ceiling fan/ac should be in...if not, you are in for some hot nights (very literally, no pun intended!) or cold ones... depending upon what your choice is.

marry someone who shares your love for food...or the lack thereof. it would be difficult for a foodie to be hooked up with someone who is on a perennial diet.

don't prolong a fight; think of the bonus... you make up, and pave the way for another fight and more potential gifts from your spouse as part of the making up ;) but seriously, there aint no fun in a long drawn battle of words between a couple...

girls, don't nag :) boys, don't wisecrack too much; especially about her weight, looks, obsessive compulsive disorders :)

give each other the space to live your own lives... each person is an entity after all, no matter what everyone else says. you can't change who you are, or the person you married; it's better to make allowances :)

i was reading through some of the entries in this blog, and i couldnt find a common vein anywhere... mark of genius, or sign of imminent madness, i wonder ;)

oh yeah, one common feature is the lack of capitals :) i do hate capitals, i wonder who created that convention! as a kid, it was ok... no special effort to write a capital letter, but whew... pressing the shift key every now and then just to make sure your writeup adheres to some dumbass convention...that sucks (look at me swearing; how i've changed...sigh!)