have you ever stopped to look through the lighted windows of a house, to what lies within? it's a favourite activity of mine (yet another one of those weird things i love), and gives me immense pleasure to spot people moving around, the rotating fan, the flicker of the tv screen, etc. whenever i see such a scene (most often during my train journeys), i start thinking of the life that unwinds beyond the portal that i view.
i wonder what someone would spot if she stood and watched beyond the window to my life. i wonder if the occsional joys would shine, or the murkiness of the disappointments, guilt, and pain would cast their aura over the happy parts...
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
lessons from college
a long time ago, i appeared for a practical exam in digital electronics. my examiner frowned ever so slightly when he handed over my question paper (we had individual questions for every candidate, and one had to pick her's from a set of question papers). i decided then and there that the question was a tough nut to crack, and the examiner who had also been my professor for a variety of subjects over the past 3 years, must have realised that i would flunk abominably.
i read the paper with a fluttering heart. the question seemed to be a sitter because i figured out the answer in a jiffy. but wait, it couldnt be THAT simple. there had to be some twist. so i started trying to figure out the twist.
(the question is reproduced here, for the benefit of any interested reader: "using 7 segment lcd display, device a mechanism that would indicate an odd number by 0 and an even number by 1".)
simple, right? just reverse the last bit of the given number and provide that as input for the 7 segment display system. but no, my mind was convinced that there was a twist. the professor was famous for setting complicated questions...and i was absolutely sure that he expected me to use all the bits of any given number (how on earth is one supposed to do that, given that there could be varying numbers of bits in random numbers, i still don't know) to generate the required input for the device.
and so i sat and doodled and scribbled for an hour. the prof signalled to me and asked, "hey, what are you fidgeting about? and here i was, thinking that you had got a sitter of a question and would be out of the hall in an hour"...
hell. so that was why he had frowned. he liked to throw challenges depending upon the faculties of his students, and obviously thought that this challenge was too trivial for me...my oh my.
a half hour later, i walked out of the lab, feeling totally sheepish, but happy that i would ace the exam.
to his credit, the prof granted me an 86 (deducting 14 marks for wasted time i'm sure, haha).
i never fail to kick myself when i think of the incident. why should i have bothered to discover a complication that never existed? why? simple...because i, like many others of this day and age, am so used to complicating things, that i can't accept something which is totally simple. like i often say to myself these days, "life is simple". but to think of the umpteen complications i have created in my life over the years...i'm learning to shed each one and day by day, life seems to become a bit more simple, and infinitely more lucid than the previous day. and on days when the devil rears it's horned head and shouts "it's got to be complicated, so keep looking for the twist" , i remember my 6th semester lab exam.
funny how college can prepare you for greater things than a degree...sometimes, it prepares you for life in ways that you may never think of :)
i read the paper with a fluttering heart. the question seemed to be a sitter because i figured out the answer in a jiffy. but wait, it couldnt be THAT simple. there had to be some twist. so i started trying to figure out the twist.
(the question is reproduced here, for the benefit of any interested reader: "using 7 segment lcd display, device a mechanism that would indicate an odd number by 0 and an even number by 1".)
simple, right? just reverse the last bit of the given number and provide that as input for the 7 segment display system. but no, my mind was convinced that there was a twist. the professor was famous for setting complicated questions...and i was absolutely sure that he expected me to use all the bits of any given number (how on earth is one supposed to do that, given that there could be varying numbers of bits in random numbers, i still don't know) to generate the required input for the device.
and so i sat and doodled and scribbled for an hour. the prof signalled to me and asked, "hey, what are you fidgeting about? and here i was, thinking that you had got a sitter of a question and would be out of the hall in an hour"...
hell. so that was why he had frowned. he liked to throw challenges depending upon the faculties of his students, and obviously thought that this challenge was too trivial for me...my oh my.
a half hour later, i walked out of the lab, feeling totally sheepish, but happy that i would ace the exam.
to his credit, the prof granted me an 86 (deducting 14 marks for wasted time i'm sure, haha).
i never fail to kick myself when i think of the incident. why should i have bothered to discover a complication that never existed? why? simple...because i, like many others of this day and age, am so used to complicating things, that i can't accept something which is totally simple. like i often say to myself these days, "life is simple". but to think of the umpteen complications i have created in my life over the years...i'm learning to shed each one and day by day, life seems to become a bit more simple, and infinitely more lucid than the previous day. and on days when the devil rears it's horned head and shouts "it's got to be complicated, so keep looking for the twist" , i remember my 6th semester lab exam.
funny how college can prepare you for greater things than a degree...sometimes, it prepares you for life in ways that you may never think of :)
Friday, September 12, 2008
the LHC, photons and their likes :)
we were preparing dinner yesterday evening; he was mixing up some batter and i was waiting impatiently for him to get over with it, when he started talking about the LHC. i must admit that was my first real encounter with the term, though i had been hearing vague references to the experiment for the past week or so. so he was like, "...and two photons are going to be collided on october 21st..." and i was like "hold on. it cannot be two photons; it must be two protons". so that immediately ticked him and he said "how can you be so sure? i think i read photons". so i spouted some gyan on photons (the little that i remember from class 12 physics) and he told me that i am have an "exceptional memory" :) now me, i am modest. i know my memory's not exceptional...it's just good. i looked up the LHC and photons on the web today, and it made for some interesting reading (primarily because i wouldnt have to remember all of the stuff for an exam on the morrow). here are the links (as if the whole world hasnt read of all this already!...but anyway, here's my bit to promote the knowledge of what surely ought to become one of the greatest experiments ever performed!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Large_Hadron_Collider
http://lhc.web.cern.ch/lhc/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Large_Hadron_Collider
http://lhc.web.cern.ch/lhc/
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
college tales
my second post in the day, which probably shows how very bored and extremely jobless i am (well i have a job, and i am working, but in snatches...it's not keeping me busy today). i was looking up some very old snaps on my computer the other day---they date back to 7-8 years and have that old/jaded look associated with relatively older snaps that have been scanned from their paper originals. i had to do a lot of zooming in and out, to be able to see every detail vividly, but the mind was more than ready with the details where the snaps failed. you see, those are from college tours, the class, our lazy evenings outside the hostel etc.
i think after all these years it would be safe to reveal that my best moments as a student, happened in that beautiful place tucked cosily on a hill. well there were some ugly incidents too, but if i closed my eyes to those (or relegated them to a blind spot in my brain), there is nothing to deter me from saying that RIT was by far the best place i spent in 18 years of acads.
for starters, getting in was a piece of cake. for the less enthusiastic and less scholarly students like me, places like RIT are a godsend :) you prepare for a sennight and take a shot at the state level exam, and lo, there you are...you find yourself at rit :) (that's how i went there, though i had always wanted to go there ever since i had heard of the place in '94 or so). and once you got in, barring the ragging and the electrical labs, life was a piece of cake as well :)
the thing with the electrical labs was that...well...the professors made every session a nightmare, with unending questions to test our lack of knowledge :( and writing a record of the work done was bad too, considering that i have always had scant regard for writing neatly, drawing nicely, etc etc. so anyway, except for a biweekly torture session, and a daily dose of the R thingy in the first year, life was great. i rarely ever studied (except on the night before the exam ofcourse) :) when i moved into the college hostel in the second year, the fun improved by leaps and bounds, and whatever remained of the studies, flew out of the window. i remember our gang of 6 having major addas in the common space in the ground floor at 2:00 a.m in the night, hoping that we would wake up the next morning in time for breakfast (which we never did anyway). all the other girls were cross with the 6 of us and made pointed references to our disturbing behaviour (well, the act of disturbing them while they were studying). all of them were either comp science or EC students and thought of themselves as intellectually advanced (as compared to us ofcourse). i remember their snooty looks (and i hope none of them ever read this blog!) and their sarcastic comments and our giggling behind their backs at the monumental waste of time :)
i think after all these years it would be safe to reveal that my best moments as a student, happened in that beautiful place tucked cosily on a hill. well there were some ugly incidents too, but if i closed my eyes to those (or relegated them to a blind spot in my brain), there is nothing to deter me from saying that RIT was by far the best place i spent in 18 years of acads.
for starters, getting in was a piece of cake. for the less enthusiastic and less scholarly students like me, places like RIT are a godsend :) you prepare for a sennight and take a shot at the state level exam, and lo, there you are...you find yourself at rit :) (that's how i went there, though i had always wanted to go there ever since i had heard of the place in '94 or so). and once you got in, barring the ragging and the electrical labs, life was a piece of cake as well :)
the thing with the electrical labs was that...well...the professors made every session a nightmare, with unending questions to test our lack of knowledge :( and writing a record of the work done was bad too, considering that i have always had scant regard for writing neatly, drawing nicely, etc etc. so anyway, except for a biweekly torture session, and a daily dose of the R thingy in the first year, life was great. i rarely ever studied (except on the night before the exam ofcourse) :) when i moved into the college hostel in the second year, the fun improved by leaps and bounds, and whatever remained of the studies, flew out of the window. i remember our gang of 6 having major addas in the common space in the ground floor at 2:00 a.m in the night, hoping that we would wake up the next morning in time for breakfast (which we never did anyway). all the other girls were cross with the 6 of us and made pointed references to our disturbing behaviour (well, the act of disturbing them while they were studying). all of them were either comp science or EC students and thought of themselves as intellectually advanced (as compared to us ofcourse). i remember their snooty looks (and i hope none of them ever read this blog!) and their sarcastic comments and our giggling behind their backs at the monumental waste of time :)
when we spent hours together sitting on the roads within the campus, looking at the blue sky above and contemplating what the future held for us, i guess we never dreamt of the paths we would take, and the places we would end up in. the fun lies in the uncertainty though, for it gave us umpteen opportunities to fantasise, and today, it gives me even more opportunities to reminisce. nostalgia...oh so bittersweet, and yet one of the bestest things that have ever happened to mortals :)
disclaimer post!
here's something that i thought, was obvious. apparently, it isn't...so here goes. appropos the small description i've put in, please do not take everything on this blog at face value. i am not one of those chatty females that would reveal all of their secrets, dark or light, on a blog :) most of what i write, is trash (it's mostly 65% untrue, though it sounds oh-so-true at times; except for the previous post because i meant every word of it) :) and sometimes, when i feel bored, or sleepy, or just plain pissed at the lack of eventfulness in my life, i'll go on and write some soppy crap (literally crap, because most of it would be junk) :)
ok, so this is my disclaimer post...should've come earlier; but better late than never. i used to write better stuff on my blog at the office, and i can't explain the lackadaisical posts in here! but until i come up with something nicer and more creative, please bear with my lit trash :)
ok, so this is my disclaimer post...should've come earlier; but better late than never. i used to write better stuff on my blog at the office, and i can't explain the lackadaisical posts in here! but until i come up with something nicer and more creative, please bear with my lit trash :)
Monday, September 8, 2008
for its sake :)
i think something is grossly wrong with the world...or atleast, most of the world. where we should have concentrated on preaching about love, and practising kindness to fellow beings, we have started preaching on the virtues of being jealous, and practise being arrogant like never before.
the other day, i went to church, knowing fully well that the reverend would subject me and fellow churchgoers to an hour of never ending boredom in the name of a sermon. i did not realise that he would read out an e-mail (one of those "forwards" that i always annihilate with a shift+delete action), and that he would use the points therein to paint a dirty picture of "techies" and MBAs and the likes.
i haven't understood the moot point that he was trying to make that day. he quoted a verse from the good book and strayed from it like the prodigal son from his father's house! apparently, the wise man that he is, he is irked by young people of this generation who are ambitious. and that brings me to the quintessential question -- what is the vice in being ambitious? is ambition by any means, a prelude to wickedness?
so the guy the reverend was speaking about, quit a job that paid him 12lakhs p.a. to look for something that would pay him 36 lakhs p.a. is that a crime? is that act worthy of the disdain and sarcasm that dripped copiously from the other's words? is the society aware of the lakhs that the young man spent, in getting a coveted MBA from some IIM? is he then not justified in making a good ROI? and even if he hadn't made an investement worth lakhs for his education, does he not have the right to aim for a better job, if he so desires? who gave me, or you, or a reverend, the right to speak of his aim as though it were a heinous deed?
really, i have heard this diatribe against "techies" (and other folks working in MNCs) so much and for so long that i wonder what we (the techies) did, to invite this wrath? is it that we spent 4 years studying a variety of subjects related to some branch of engineering? that we got jobs in MNCs that developed software? or is it a war against software itself?
i can't hire an autorickshaw without the driver giving me a discourse on how "my kind" brought the evils of traffic and potholed roads into bangalore...really! now that's a tall claim. i wonder if would have made as decent a living as he does now, if "my kind" had not existed. i also wonder if the reverend in my church would have run out of topics for the sunday sermon, if IT had not happened :)
the other day, i went to church, knowing fully well that the reverend would subject me and fellow churchgoers to an hour of never ending boredom in the name of a sermon. i did not realise that he would read out an e-mail (one of those "forwards" that i always annihilate with a shift+delete action), and that he would use the points therein to paint a dirty picture of "techies" and MBAs and the likes.
i haven't understood the moot point that he was trying to make that day. he quoted a verse from the good book and strayed from it like the prodigal son from his father's house! apparently, the wise man that he is, he is irked by young people of this generation who are ambitious. and that brings me to the quintessential question -- what is the vice in being ambitious? is ambition by any means, a prelude to wickedness?
so the guy the reverend was speaking about, quit a job that paid him 12lakhs p.a. to look for something that would pay him 36 lakhs p.a. is that a crime? is that act worthy of the disdain and sarcasm that dripped copiously from the other's words? is the society aware of the lakhs that the young man spent, in getting a coveted MBA from some IIM? is he then not justified in making a good ROI? and even if he hadn't made an investement worth lakhs for his education, does he not have the right to aim for a better job, if he so desires? who gave me, or you, or a reverend, the right to speak of his aim as though it were a heinous deed?
really, i have heard this diatribe against "techies" (and other folks working in MNCs) so much and for so long that i wonder what we (the techies) did, to invite this wrath? is it that we spent 4 years studying a variety of subjects related to some branch of engineering? that we got jobs in MNCs that developed software? or is it a war against software itself?
i can't hire an autorickshaw without the driver giving me a discourse on how "my kind" brought the evils of traffic and potholed roads into bangalore...really! now that's a tall claim. i wonder if would have made as decent a living as he does now, if "my kind" had not existed. i also wonder if the reverend in my church would have run out of topics for the sunday sermon, if IT had not happened :)
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
everything under the sun..
the blues have all gone away and i feel like a lark all of a sudden...this would have been entirely true, except for the fact that i don't know how a lark feels most of the time (come to think of it, i don't know a lark or anything about its feelings at all)! anyway, the long and short of it is, the negative stuff that came out in the previous post, is all but forgotten, so i have revived the dreams and no, no painful surgeries to exorcise them either :)
it's amazing how one good day or moment can change your mood in a jiffy. had a great time coming to the office today; the cab broke down midway and we stopped at a flyover overlooking a beautiful lake...boy, that really was good and did a lot to uplift the stupid mind from the throes that it usually resides in.
hubby and i have been eating out a lot these days (after we had solemnly vowed to cook at home and eat home-made food!). yesterday, we had onion fried chicken...one word for it; amazing!
lost my access card and got a curt reply that i might have to pay for the new one :( blow !
Monday, August 25, 2008
Monday, August 4, 2008
I was living a dream until you walked by
And snatched what is worthwhile when one lives a dream
You thought not twice before you did it
I doubt you did it once…
I used to have many a complaint
Against you and your vicious act;
I have felt the strain of knowing you
Play havoc on my dreamless life.
Did you care, I’m sure you didn’t
Do you ever care?
I guess you don’t.
For why should you
When people cower in fear
Of you, the ruthless ruler of their lives.
You consider not their precious birthstones
Or charms or potion divine;
You stride on in perfect arrogance, oblivious
Of their presence or their whine,
And let them say once you are gone
“This was destined”
And snatched what is worthwhile when one lives a dream
You thought not twice before you did it
I doubt you did it once…
I used to have many a complaint
Against you and your vicious act;
I have felt the strain of knowing you
Play havoc on my dreamless life.
Did you care, I’m sure you didn’t
Do you ever care?
I guess you don’t.
For why should you
When people cower in fear
Of you, the ruthless ruler of their lives.
You consider not their precious birthstones
Or charms or potion divine;
You stride on in perfect arrogance, oblivious
Of their presence or their whine,
And let them say once you are gone
“This was destined”
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